You can smell the alcohol in my room, I don't feel too good and probably shouldn't drink. It only makes me more emotional and makes me feel shit, I feel like I can't do anything right lately and that just everything I do goes totally wrong...

I am also thinking what the fuck am I doing on this planet?! Why do I exist? I feel useless, when I was younger I had everything, made lots of fun, did great in school without too much effort, had a superb social life but now I am not happy at all!

Sometimes I think what if I would just drop down dead suddenly, who would care?

Fucking emo post, isn't it? aargh, pouring myself some more alcohol...

I can't type frisian ;p

Leroy zegt:
en alsie niet zupt dan knutselt ie aan zijn brommer
Th€o zegt:
wat dat betreft; denk dat er meer in oosterwolde of harlingen zitten
Leroy zegt:
of aan zijn gammele atootje
[G]erard << zegt:
hehe
[G]erard << zegt:
mar dot is toch mooi! bietsje mei het brommertsje klooien
Leroy zegt:
haha
Th€o zegt:
wat mot matijn eigenlijk in dit gesprek, zegt nix
[G]erard << zegt:
en don ien de jonne eem mei mien dikke nicht ien de hooiberg frunniken
Th€o zegt:
knoeien
Leroy zegt:
of oander it lân op, ô de dik, een schaapke pakken

Old times

Quoted from my friend her blog, it made me wipe tears away when reading it;

"This post is about Gerard, a great friend of me…

I am writing this to show how much I appreciate him,

I’ve known him since the day I was born,

All of my 17 years, always been like a big brother to me,

Someone who watched over me and backed me up,

It always puts a smile on my face when I think of the days,

The days that we were little kids playing in the pool in their backyard,

Or racing around on our bikes or on our skelters.

When we got older we did hang out less,

And when he moved we hardly met for real,

On msn we only spoke for about once each week at most,

Just asking how school or life was nothing special,

Two years ago we saw each other daily again on the bus,

But even there we didn’t speak much and sat apart,

I didn’t really bother about it and so did he.

About one year ago I broke up with my boyfriend,

Crying for days and the only one who really listened was Gerard,

He asked me if he should come along and so he did,

It was 10 kilometres through the storm but he did come,

For me…

I cried all night thru while he was holding me in his arms,

Trying to comfort me and it really helped me a lot.

Now I live in Canada,

A few months ago I saw him when I was home for my parents anniversary,

He told me about this Chinese girl he met online,

Telling me he would meet her once and I could tell by his eyes he was happy,

I saw this shiny twinkle in those blue lakes under his eyebrows,

Not so long ago he said stuff between him and her took a different turn,

He felt bad I could tell and when I met him again I could see it too,

No twinkle in his eyes anymore instead they look troubled,

A guy who had so many bad experiences in his life,

Lost so many people who meant something to him,

He was always strong but then one strange girl comes along,

And he crashes down to the ground and can’t get up again.

It hurts me to see him this hurt,

My big brother who was always there for other people,

When he graduated the headmaster had a special speech for him,

A problemsolver he was called and someone who cared about others,

Even about strangers he hardly knew.

His real friends can’t cheer him up,

They are all though guys who just can’t talk well about it,

But I read about Emmie and Debbie,

They seem to be some kind of a help to him,

So I want to thank them although I have no clue who they are.

And Gerard, I know you’ll read this. I want this song to be a tribute from me to you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J98vyTG1s8&feature=related because I don’t know how I can live without having you in my life.

xxx - Janneke"

Singlish

Hey I bought some steam dvd's last thursday!

~according to discovery 'steam' means a good buy or something cheap in singlish (or an erection) ;p

Time flies

Today she'll be going to Australia, I didn't even get to wish her good luck and the christmas card I sent also never arrived so the good luck wishes on that are also useless. Talking about cards... I just found the one she once sent me when I was cleaning my room, it was really sweet what she wrote and the card I sent her was also really sweet she said back then... but what did I write on it?! I don't even remember it.

It bothers me so much, my friends ask me all the time what's wrong with me but they don't all need to know what happened and they wouldn't understand anyways. And then imagine that lots of the sweet talks came from her... but now I am the one who suffers from all of it while she just goes on happily. Maybe Leroy was right about saying that she was just a girl who makes guys go a bit crazy on the internet and then hurts them, just playing with their feelings or like he said it "vieze gore slet" = "fucking disgusting slut"

And lol, just changed the channel to discovery channel and haha... it's about Singapore and the food there, ugh getting me hungry.

Can't go to school because my foot hurts like hell and I can hardly walk with it, doctors advice!~